Junk the Pride to De-junk your Life
- June 22, 2016
- Posted by: Reena Saxena
- Category: Behavior Management
De-cluttering, De-toxification, Re-organization are the terms we so routinely come across, in our initiatives for improvements in the house, wardrobe, mailbox, memory cards, mind or soul. And yet, we never really reach the Zen state. If we do, we tire of it soon enough, and move back to a cluttered existence.
Back in our childhood days, we owned very little compared to our family members, and took pride in collecting stones, marbles, crayons, broken dolls and wheels, whatever caught our fancy. Soon enough, we compared them with what our peer group owned, and developed a pride in our belongings. The humble belongings were gradually replaced with finer and better stuff, but we mentally, we never really grew up. The drive to hoard remained the same. Not realizing that if we hoard the Old, we are unable to create space for the New.
This applies to furniture, wardrobes, art collections, thought processes, emotions, behaviour patterns and everything that we call a ‘habit’. For sure, we cannot throw out the baby with the bathwater.
The most horrifying examples that one comes across are those of victims of domestic violence, or their daughters who choose similar partners again. This happens because we cannot have, say 40% or 60% of a person. The partner needs to be accepted as a package deal. There was something about the perpetrator that the victim had once liked, and s/he is unable to give it up. They never come out of the loop, unless they can gather the courage to give up certain things that were once addictive or attractive.
De-junking is a thought process that involves the following :
- Decide what you value.
The values of integrity or the ambition to be rich that your parents instilled in you, that classic mink coat, the jewels with a money tag, the blue-chip stocks that you own. They create your financial and emotional security, and will be your companions for a lifetime. You can always fall back on them, when in need. Treasure them and keep it with utmost care.
Beauty is but the sensible image of the Infinite. Like truth and justice, it lives within us. Like virtue and the moral law, it is a companion of the soul – George Bancroft.
- Prioritize whatever you value.
These are personal choices and needs, that change from time to time. How do you organize your storage space ? Accessibility in order of priority, is the principle to be applied. The negative experience can be pushed back, if it is a life lesson that you learnt, or can push you to future achievements. They remain an invisible driving force, the support system that runs the showroom.
The companion for an evening, and the companion for a lifetime require very different qualifications – Samuel Richardson.
3. Dispose the items of least value.
Can you find a taker for them ? The beggar on the pavement who needs a blanket, somebody who can recycle garments for their use, a protégé or progeny who benefits from your experience and advice, a book or diary to record your experience, a club where you share your life stories. It all works – to get it out of your system.
Giving is not just about charity, it is about finding another user.
- Bring in the new.
You are now wise enough to recognize if the new items have long-term or short-term value, and what should be the proportion of money or effort expended on that. The ‘older you’ can dress well with a few classic pieces. Balance sheets are ephemeral, organizational culture has a longer lifespan. You don’t need to watch every new movie or TV show to keep up with your peer group. Learn new skills, read about new concepts that fit your present mental make-up. The brain has a limited memory. The fairy tales need to be replaced by new philosophies and concepts.
A Zen mind is a beginner’s mind that keeps you young forever.
- Create heirlooms.
Your beach house, the limousine, the book that you write, the organizational/social/political culture that you build, the trends that you set need all your effort and skills.
This is what will justify your existence, not what you collected, took pride in and disposed.